My opinion on who is a daddy is the man who is in a childs life. It doesn't have to be blood. If a man or boy was to engage in a relationship, knowing the child/baby was already a part of the mother....then they take on the responsibility of that child. In todays time, all these teenagers are having babies before marriage and causes these split homes. My grandaughter is one of these children. Sadly the parents are not togeather but I do my part by spending as much time with her as the mother allows, I provide her with what she needs while in my home. I would never let her do without but its also not my place to pay child support. Mothers today qualify for all kinds of help. I will/have bought plenty of diapers & wipes. I guess what is getting to me is that some people like to judge others to quickly. Some want to talk smack about its wrong for someone to raise another mans child. That to me is childish. That statement was made and just sorta put a bad taste in my mouth...to me its saying that all you single mothers out there need to stay single till your child is 18 years old.....I understand that some people in this world did everything the corrrect way...married then children and was blessed to have the strong foundation to stay married. Thats awsome and more power to you but those people need to take a step back and support what is already in place. These children are inocent. If these baby's mommas new boyfriends don't like the idea of taking care of another mans child...they need to not date them....even more so those boyfriends family need to keep their mouth shut and stop talking smack.
Back to the title of my post...Who is Your Daddy? I can start with me....my mother married my father when I was 2 years old....He is my daddy, he was not my blood father but he is my daddy. He has and still is always there for me....Then when they divorced and remarried.....I became blessed to have my father and my step father....Those are real men to me...they took on a child that was not their blood but loved like they were. Thats a real father.....
Then I will move to my husband, he entered into a relationship with me, taking on both of my children. He is there father. He is a man. I'm thankful to have him step up to the plate. For my children, he is the only father they have.
Families today consist of maybe mom and dad, and/or step parents, some children are even raised by the granparents or aunts and uncles.....there is nothing wrong with who your caregivers are.....I have always heard it takes a village to raise a child.
but either way I am probally opening up a can of worms but at the same time I just had to let this off my chest.....It hurts that people want to judge before knowing all the facts....that people want to talk smack like they can do better when they have never been in those shoes they talking about..
its just my opinion and i know everyone is titled to have one.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
BiRtHdAy FuN at Fuji 2007
I have to say that this birthday at Fuji's was awsome...
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| First was the drinks......one of many....... |
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| then our famous gotta take a picture pose.... |
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| here is my josh getting slobbered by maria and brandy...lol |
now everyone is singing happy birthday and please notice that jeff felt the need to have music instruments as they sang happy birthday....
HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mE!!!
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| below you will see that we each had a few of those drinks... |
I think we was trying to make use of the chop sticks because we was not very good using them to eat with....
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Might not be suitable for all eyes........ but let the fun & laughter begin.....
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| what are we thinking....idk...but i can only imagine what everyone was thinking that was passing by in the parking lot.....lmao |
well, this was april 2007 and april 2011 is only a few months away....my birthday wish for this year is to have this much fun once again....now would joe agree, i'm not sure...he said that me and brandy talking via cell phone, yelling out the windows and embarasing them...all while we was in seperate cars was not fun to him....we had plans to go to Lowes afterwards but he said he was just ready to take me home to sleep it off.....lmao.....I love my husband.....and thanks to jeff, maria, brandy, buddy, andrew, josh, karlie and christopher for being a part of my birthday year 2007.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
child support....should i or not is the question
hmmm, its like 430 am and i can't sleep...my poor husband who already works so hard, had to go to work a few hours earlier this morning so that is one of the reasons for not being able to sleep. i guess i have something on my mind....i have mixed feelings on whether or not to void past due child support that I am entitled too according to law..
short summery of my story for those who don't know....i became a mother to my son right out of highschool.....the father i sorta kept a secret to those who didnt already know who he was...reason being was of many....i never pursued child support because i didn't want him in his life... but when josh was about 7 or 8 years old and asking alot of questions and i really needed help financially...with friends and family telling me i ought to, i checked into child support and after many months and blood tests, i filed for child support...the courts only required him to pay $103 a month and that didn't even start till he was 8 i believe. the sad thing was he wouldn't or couldn't even pay that....i remember one time when he got to be about $3,000 behind, he was made to show up at court....the judge was gonna put him in jail if he didn't pay up....i think...... with the nice person i was i agreed to half of the money and the judge let him skip jail...that is really all i ever got from him..i will admit i got a 20 dollar bill VERY far and few inbetween....i sadly remember getting a $1.53 for a monthly child support payment one month...that didn't even pay for his school lunch....omg...
well now i am married to a wonderful man who has been the father to both josh and karlie for ten years. I pretty much gave up on ever getting money from mike for josh...i mean he is like19 years old now and since then he is the father of a baby girl who just turned one....him and the mother katie are not togeather but he helps as much as he can, because he does not have a set job. soooooo i look at josh and his daughter and his inability to pay monthly...although he does give when he is working and katie will ask me if alyssa is in need of anything....i am a very active grandmother in her life.
sooo here i am today...i get my little reminders thru the mail showing how much child support i have received for the previous 3 months....and what does it say .....$0000 so one day i call them and tell them to just save the cost of paper and stamps that i am aware that i don't get that money....and don't ever see me getting it....well to my suprise the father comes to visit me at my job....he gives me the story that if i dont send a letter to say that i wont or don't want to pursue child support he will loose his license and wont be able to work.....then if he don't work ..how will he pay....so i write a letter and i am sure to say in the letter.....AT THIS TIME, i am not interested in pursueing child support..well that letter didn't work.....he is now asking me to write another letter and fax it with my driver license....he tells me that they already got his license taken because he owes back child support for his other children and you know...the sob story is given...and i do feel bad..and i am trying to do whatever to help ....but now i am at a standstill on what to do......he has made many bad choices in life that has landed him in jail and fights the battle of drugs..he is doing well in life from what i hear....but the question is... do you keep kicking a dog when its down....how do you get money from someone who can't/wont work without a driver license cause he is a logger and that is all he knows.....and all the money he has in his equipment comes from his mother....so if i pursue child support...it would be mikes parents who would have to pay...hell they have paid for everything so far.....but on the other hand....my goodness how i struggled to raise josh without help....if it wasn't for my family it would have been real bad..and then i look at all these other mothers who get sooo much child support paid monthly....doesn't seem fair....i also see guy friends who have soo much money taken from their checks for the mother of their children who don't work....and then i know of men who go to jail for a few days till they catch up child support .... its just not fair.... i have people in one ear that say I need to let the system get me the money...then i think if i did get the money, i would use it for my grandaughter alyssa....you know i just have mixed feelings...so that is why i have just blotted down what is on my mind and heart. i am open to what you think......
UPDATE 2/2/11
well, I did pray about this and i appreciated all the input of your thoughts....I ended up writing and faxing one last letter to close out the case. In the letter I wrote that I hope he feels led to do the right thing and pay off his debts to his parents, me and anyone else who has bailed him out for sooo many years. After I faxed the letter, I felt peace inside....yes I wish I had the money..we can all use money but like I stated in the letter, I just hope he continues to be the changed person he says he is and works hard like a man is supose to..and most of all I hope he doesn't let his family down..I just know that if I didn't write the letter, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing that his parents, who has all their money tied into equipment could just be gone for what...their son's bad decisions again....that wouldn't be fair to them.....I will end with this.....a parents love is awsome...all parents do the very best they can...but at one point you have to let go....have to stop giving in...stop bailing them out....let them fall on their face....Josh left home sooner than I was ready...he really tested me......lots of heartbreak from his poor decisions...but in the end...I was always there for him.....I also stayed to my word when I told him I couldn't help someone who can't help theirself....that if he couldn't follow my rules that I couldn't give in.....tough love is the hardest thing in the world and let me tell you....those few years I had to live it was very tough...I about broke myself....thank god I had karlie to keep me wanting to live and continue in life because Josh really tried me.....I had to overlook other peoples opinions because I didn't want to be the parent that would keep bailing him out when he became an adult...I tried so hard, and wanted so bad for him to prove people wrong, that just because of who his father was didn't mean he would take the same paths he did....I wanted that more than anything in this world...so for the lessons we have learned togeather by the knowledge of others mistakes....i am thankful for what the Lord has given me......I love my son for who he is, he has a very big heart and so very talented in many areas.......I finally see him taking more steps forward than backwards....I just keep reminding myself their is light at the end of the tunnel.....God works in mysterious ways.
short summery of my story for those who don't know....i became a mother to my son right out of highschool.....the father i sorta kept a secret to those who didnt already know who he was...reason being was of many....i never pursued child support because i didn't want him in his life... but when josh was about 7 or 8 years old and asking alot of questions and i really needed help financially...with friends and family telling me i ought to, i checked into child support and after many months and blood tests, i filed for child support...the courts only required him to pay $103 a month and that didn't even start till he was 8 i believe. the sad thing was he wouldn't or couldn't even pay that....i remember one time when he got to be about $3,000 behind, he was made to show up at court....the judge was gonna put him in jail if he didn't pay up....i think...... with the nice person i was i agreed to half of the money and the judge let him skip jail...that is really all i ever got from him..i will admit i got a 20 dollar bill VERY far and few inbetween....i sadly remember getting a $1.53 for a monthly child support payment one month...that didn't even pay for his school lunch....omg...
well now i am married to a wonderful man who has been the father to both josh and karlie for ten years. I pretty much gave up on ever getting money from mike for josh...i mean he is like19 years old now and since then he is the father of a baby girl who just turned one....him and the mother katie are not togeather but he helps as much as he can, because he does not have a set job. soooooo i look at josh and his daughter and his inability to pay monthly...although he does give when he is working and katie will ask me if alyssa is in need of anything....i am a very active grandmother in her life.
sooo here i am today...i get my little reminders thru the mail showing how much child support i have received for the previous 3 months....and what does it say .....$0000 so one day i call them and tell them to just save the cost of paper and stamps that i am aware that i don't get that money....and don't ever see me getting it....well to my suprise the father comes to visit me at my job....he gives me the story that if i dont send a letter to say that i wont or don't want to pursue child support he will loose his license and wont be able to work.....then if he don't work ..how will he pay....so i write a letter and i am sure to say in the letter.....AT THIS TIME, i am not interested in pursueing child support..well that letter didn't work.....he is now asking me to write another letter and fax it with my driver license....he tells me that they already got his license taken because he owes back child support for his other children and you know...the sob story is given...and i do feel bad..and i am trying to do whatever to help ....but now i am at a standstill on what to do......he has made many bad choices in life that has landed him in jail and fights the battle of drugs..he is doing well in life from what i hear....but the question is... do you keep kicking a dog when its down....how do you get money from someone who can't/wont work without a driver license cause he is a logger and that is all he knows.....and all the money he has in his equipment comes from his mother....so if i pursue child support...it would be mikes parents who would have to pay...hell they have paid for everything so far.....but on the other hand....my goodness how i struggled to raise josh without help....if it wasn't for my family it would have been real bad..and then i look at all these other mothers who get sooo much child support paid monthly....doesn't seem fair....i also see guy friends who have soo much money taken from their checks for the mother of their children who don't work....and then i know of men who go to jail for a few days till they catch up child support .... its just not fair.... i have people in one ear that say I need to let the system get me the money...then i think if i did get the money, i would use it for my grandaughter alyssa....you know i just have mixed feelings...so that is why i have just blotted down what is on my mind and heart. i am open to what you think......
UPDATE 2/2/11
well, I did pray about this and i appreciated all the input of your thoughts....I ended up writing and faxing one last letter to close out the case. In the letter I wrote that I hope he feels led to do the right thing and pay off his debts to his parents, me and anyone else who has bailed him out for sooo many years. After I faxed the letter, I felt peace inside....yes I wish I had the money..we can all use money but like I stated in the letter, I just hope he continues to be the changed person he says he is and works hard like a man is supose to..and most of all I hope he doesn't let his family down..I just know that if I didn't write the letter, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing that his parents, who has all their money tied into equipment could just be gone for what...their son's bad decisions again....that wouldn't be fair to them.....I will end with this.....a parents love is awsome...all parents do the very best they can...but at one point you have to let go....have to stop giving in...stop bailing them out....let them fall on their face....Josh left home sooner than I was ready...he really tested me......lots of heartbreak from his poor decisions...but in the end...I was always there for him.....I also stayed to my word when I told him I couldn't help someone who can't help theirself....that if he couldn't follow my rules that I couldn't give in.....tough love is the hardest thing in the world and let me tell you....those few years I had to live it was very tough...I about broke myself....thank god I had karlie to keep me wanting to live and continue in life because Josh really tried me.....I had to overlook other peoples opinions because I didn't want to be the parent that would keep bailing him out when he became an adult...I tried so hard, and wanted so bad for him to prove people wrong, that just because of who his father was didn't mean he would take the same paths he did....I wanted that more than anything in this world...so for the lessons we have learned togeather by the knowledge of others mistakes....i am thankful for what the Lord has given me......I love my son for who he is, he has a very big heart and so very talented in many areas.......I finally see him taking more steps forward than backwards....I just keep reminding myself their is light at the end of the tunnel.....God works in mysterious ways.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
virgin blogger lost
well silly me didn't think that people i didn't know would read a blog i wrote...... not that i minded, i am just saying i am alittle lost...one day i found my way to see other bloggers and then the next i can only see mine, maria's and dawns. i guess i will get use to it. i am open to any suggestions....
just the thought of her leaving
Just the thought of my beautiful sweet granddaughter Alyssa moving 4 hours away to Florida, just brought tears to my eyes…. this is the second time I have heard her speak of it…the first time it bothered me somewhat but I let it go thinking that Katie wouldn’t move away from her family…. but to have her mention it again…uggg it just made me depressed…just the thought of them moving to Florida…4 hours in the opposite direction of my other family…WOW …… I have had a few hours to let it sink in and I just can’t concentrate…. I know that some people are thinking I am over reacting and others seem to understand where I am coming from. Yes I know I have let myself get overly attached to that lil Indian baby…but she is just so loveable and the best granddaughter you could ask for…..
I know that I would survive if it did happen but I feel like Katie wouldn’t be happy so far away from her family. I remember making a similar move when my Josh was just a year old…..I just up and moved away to Virginia with my first love…thinking he would take care of me and Josh…but I was too much of a family person that it was much harder than I thought….I so missed everyone…I remember the day I moved…having to say my goodbyes.…I even remember my best friend Maria crying cause I was moving away…I remember it like yesterday…I stayed less than a year and my gramma and pappap drove 12 hours to come and get me and Josh and we moved back to Georgia.
I want Katie to be happy just as much as much as I want Alyssa to be just 10-15 minutes away. I will support her for she is my grandbaby’s momma…
I just had to vent out my feelings of hurt…and ask the Lord to help my heart handle whatever is to be.
Love is a powerful feeling of emotion…. Love hurts just as much as it feels good.
Life wouldn’t be worth living without love…although sometimes I get tired of the hurt that I wish I didn’t love but I shouldn’t really say that because I’m thankful I have Alyssa to love.
Ok…. enough of my rattling on about it.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
first post
well, its like 2am....we went to san marcos for dinner tonight and i had a nice margarita at dinner and when i got home at 7...i was soo tired, i fell asleep only to find myself wide awake now and i got work in a few hours....but i have to admit i love to be awake when everyone else is asleep...i can have "my time" checking out facebook and clicked on maria's blog and this is where i find myself blogging. just what i need another thing to keep me on this computer more...but i love it...
well my first blog entry will be short but i will end it with...i love my family....reading marias blog about her childhood really got me to thinking about mine. i find it hard to believe i am 38 years old...that i have raised josh and this current chapter of life is still being a full time mom to karlie who is 11 and a gramma to alyssa who is about to be one....wow at life and how it changes so much...life is going by so fast...i mean i find it very important to leave something behind to make sure my kids know how much i love them....i remember when josh was a baby...omg almost 20 years ago...but i use to pray for the Lord to keep me alive to raise him..then karlie came and i kept praying the same thing...Lord please let me live long enough to raise my kids...but now I got alyssa and I just don't want to leave this world anytime soon...Life is full of heartache but at the same time it's full of alot of wonderful things.
Later friends and family.....love you
well my first blog entry will be short but i will end it with...i love my family....reading marias blog about her childhood really got me to thinking about mine. i find it hard to believe i am 38 years old...that i have raised josh and this current chapter of life is still being a full time mom to karlie who is 11 and a gramma to alyssa who is about to be one....wow at life and how it changes so much...life is going by so fast...i mean i find it very important to leave something behind to make sure my kids know how much i love them....i remember when josh was a baby...omg almost 20 years ago...but i use to pray for the Lord to keep me alive to raise him..then karlie came and i kept praying the same thing...Lord please let me live long enough to raise my kids...but now I got alyssa and I just don't want to leave this world anytime soon...Life is full of heartache but at the same time it's full of alot of wonderful things.
Later friends and family.....love you
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